Half way there....

I have not done an update in a wile so I thought I would get everyone up to date on what has been going on. Last week when I saw my radiation doctor, he set me up to have a “half way through treatment” MRI. So I went in on Friday to have the MRI. When we got the results we found out that the tumor has gotten larger. This may not be as bad as it sounds. It could be from swelling. The radiation can cause inflammation and with that comes swelling. Because of the swelling, we had to change my treatment plan. They have to take the swelling into account in the treatment. After the treatment was changed, I had to go back to the CT machine and have the entire mapping done over. It was not as bad as the first time. I didn’t have to do another body mold or anything like that, just the mapping. Unfortunately, with the swelling has come more pain. The therapists think it is pushing on a nerve. So for now we are trying to add Aleve to my daily medication. If that doesn’t work my doctor is going to send me to the pain management clinic at UAMS.

As for sleep, I am getting all kinds of sleep. It is amazing how much the radiation drains your body. I feel like I am sleeping all the time. I have been missing work 2 to 3 days a week just because I just can’t get myself out of bed. They are still being very understanding if I can’t come. I still get paid just like if I were there. It has been a long 20 treatments, but only 10 more to go. I am so ready for them to be over with. I must say I will miss some of my therapists. They have been so nice, and I feel like I have made some friends. But that aside, I am still ready to be done with this. I will be going back to my cancer doctor on July 27^th. I will also have another MRI that day. It will have been 4 weeks since my last radiation treatment. So the hope is that all the swelling and inflammation will be gone. That way we can get a true look at what the radiation did. I know this post is not as long as some of the rest, but there is really no way to talk about the daily treatments. It’s the same thing every day at the same time.

I am counting down the days and staying strong. I know this will be over soon….           

The ups and downs....

I have my days when I feel really strong and know I will beat this. Then there are the days when I feel like this is never going to end.  I’m already sick of going to the radiation treatments. It’s hard to go in there every day. I try to look around at all the other people in the waiting room and tell myself “it could be worse.” I’m fortunate that, for the most part, I’m still “healthy.” From the look of me, I don’t think I really even look sick. It’s been nice that the nausea has gone away, and the meds the doctors gave me work great. The down side is that there is nothing they can do about the fatigue. The only way I have been able to explain the way it makes me feel is by comparing it to the way you feel after being out in the sun all day. But for me, I get that feeling after just five minutes of treatment. I’m still having a lot of pain; and from the look of this thing, it looks like it is getting bigger. I sure hope this radiation starts working and we can see a change in this tumor soon.

 I did find out the other day how important it is to take care of the markings on my back. Over the long weekend I was outside cooking on the grill. It was hot, and I got sweaty. That night in my sleep 3 of them came off. At the next treatment I was on the table for about 45 minutes as the technicians took x-rays and pictures to get all my markers back on. They had me laying there so long that my shoulder started hurting, and I had to get them to let me take a break. They were very nice about it and worked as fast as they could do get everything done. I saw the radiation oncologist Wednesday; and he said everything was looking good; no skin rash or any problems so far. I only see him once a week. He just looks at the mass to make sure the skin looks good, asks if I have any questions, and then lets me go.

I went back to the Cancer Institute today to meet with my cancer doctor. We really didn’t do anything. He took a look at my mass, and we talked about how we were going to keep surgery as a “last resort” option. He said it is so hard to treat this kind of tumor and that he wants to wait and see where there radiation gets us. So now the next appointment isn’t for two more months. We are going to wait until all the radiation treatments are done and inflammation from the radiation has subsided so that we can do a new MRI to see if the size of this thing has changed. I did find out from the doctor today that the reason it is looking bigger right now is from the inflammation from the radiation. I’m really not sure what we will do after the MRI. I guess I’ll just have to wait and cross that bridge when we get there. Christy told me this morning that this is just a “bump in the road.”

I met a girl online that has been dealing with the same cancer as I am dealing with. She has been dealing with hers for 9 years. She said something to me that has stuck with me and I have been trying to live by it. She said “Tough times don’t last - tough people do.” So I am trying to stay tough……